"There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature." — Jane Austen
I’ve been told that I have an unusual trust in people. And that may be true, but I don’t think that’s such a bad thing. I mean, after all, my spirit animal is a dog. So that should tell you a bit about my personality. I say hi to people that pass by, smile at strangers on the street, and talk to people I don’t know. A stranger is just a friend you haven’t met yet, right? Ok, I know. Sometimes that kind of sounds a bit naïve, especially with our current social climate. Nevertheless, I like bringing cheer to people, and it’s usually the grumpiest folks that need that extra smile or hug. I’m so darn friendly sometimes, that some people think I’m flirting with them. Ahhh no! Well boy, the only person I flirt with is my hubbie! I just like being kind and seeing people happy. Even though being kind has actually gotten me into trouble, weird, right? So what, still going to be me! And that leads me to my favorite group that allows me to be me and supports me as I support them with love and warmth….my ladies!
Growing up as girls, we a socially conditioned to compete with one another. Instead of lifting each other up, they pit us against each other. This is so incredibly sad and unfortunate. For I believe few can know you better than a good girlfriend.
Women are such an underappreciated group, I just had to write this little blog in praise of them/us. They deserve so much more credit than they receive.
I am by no means saying men are less or not great. In fact, it is the male gender that has been kindest to me all my life. Much more so than women. But still, I long for more ‘girl time’ with my ladies, as it is calming and reassuring, and sometimes you really need that. And if you are a male with a female partner reading this, encourage your lady to spend some time with her girlfriends. Just as men need time to hang with their bros, it is equally as important for women to take the time to hang with their girls.
I feel like the following is something you say after you have won an award or something…. but I just wanted to give some shout outs to the special ladies in my life. They deserve a ton more accolades than I can give. I just wanted to spread a bit of girl cheer! Maybe encourage others to reach out and chat with their bestie or smile at someone passing by.
These ladies are the ones I get to see in real life and spend time with. If I need them, I know they have my back. No matter where they are, they are always close to my heart. We are serious and we are silly. They don’t make fun of me for being vegan (yes people do that) or think I’m weird for treating my cat like my child. They remember that the phone can not only send texts, but it has this clever feature where you can hear each other’s voices…cool! So in order of when I met them, here they are, a very special group of ladies I am lucky enough to call my friends.
That would be my mama. Absolutely the best mom i could ask for. Growing up in a strict household, I never knew how lucky I was (spoiled little kid living in a bubble). My mom has given her all to her three kids, and she is wonderful. I mean, she brought two of us here from a war-torn country on her own! Imagine having to leave your country of origin in your twenties to a completely foreign land. Dang! No thank you! Nevertheless, she did it! She cooks her meals from starch for us, everything organic for us (even before that was a thing). She makes feasts for us and our friends when we visit (which we never do enough of) that blows people away. If you have ever been to my parents’ house for a meal, you know this to be true. She soothed our ouches and held us when we were scared. I have never known a mother that has done more for her kids. She does the best of everything for us. She is generous, a great wife, amazing mom and wonderful friend. Merci mommy joon!
My sis! So smart and athletic! She even used to be a snow board instructor in Tahoe, California. With a heart of gold and Master’s degree in Chinese Medicine, this doc is one I can trust. It’s funny that when we were kids she was this little hippie that went to all the Dead shows. Now she is a chic, sophisticated young woman that travels the globe and heals people through her art in medicine. She is the only doctor I want to visit. We know our history and it bonds us. Though we don’t always see eye to eye on all things, I know that when I need her, she will be there no matter what. And I can stake my life on that. And that alone is a gift I am eternally grateful for.
Oh my bitch ass cousin. Yes, I love her so I can say that. We may live polar opposite lifestyles, but she gets me in a way that only she could. We both came to this country at the same time as wee babes. We both understand our family dramas. Both my hubbie and I adore her whole family. From her hubbie to her two WONDERFUL kids (man I love these kids so much and they love us too!!), we all get along beautifully! And that is not always easy to come by. She defiantly works too much, runs around like crazy to the kid’s games and play dates, never a moment to herself. Plus, she’s raising kind, caring and affectionate children, which we need more of in this world.
Oh my Jinxie! Though we were born of different generations from different sides of the world., we walk the same path. Both of us never fitting into a perfect box, we make our own shape. See, now that weird sentence Jinx would totally get. A constant well of encouragement and solace, she is like no other I have ever met. She is one of my biggest cheer leaders, always motivating and encouraging me to believe in myself and do more. Its always so great to spend time with her. Sophisticated like my mom, fun like a kid. An accomplished woman herself, she was also married to the very famous and dearly departed Frank Lobdell. She grew up in high society (big time) and is friends with the art big wigs. Yet she is not one bit stuck up, she is humble as can be. As a wife, I have seen no other like her. Frank and Jinx were so in love, it was like a fairy tale. He was a lucky man. And now, she passes her wisdom on to me, and I am honored that she chose me to be her friend.
My little redheaded cousin. Yes, as a little tyke her red hair turned blonde and she looked like Shirley Temple with her cute curly locks. This gal is a go getter. With practically zero parental help, she has made a beautiful life for herself. She’s got a huge heart, and not much can get her down. I admire that so much! She has a career in the theater arts which I know will take off big time. She’s open and honest and couldn’t care less what other people think. Her strength shines through every time I see her. She’s fun to be around and a good friend. I’m lucky to have her as my little cuz.
Talk about a woman who can stand on her own feet, it’s Susie Q! My friend from when we were little. The first person I went to a high school party with. The person who knew before I did that it was time to stop drinking and go home. The friend that has the guts to ask you “What the hell babe?”. and boy howdy is that appreciated! Everyone needs a friend that can call you out on your BS. And Q has that down pat! She’s someone that gets to the nitty gritty, and sometimes that isn’t easy. She’s got a success flourishing career and yet is never stuck up or entitled. She’s got a big heart and a good head on her shoulders. She’s a daughter any parent would be proud of and anyone would be lucky to call her friend.
My dearest Ms. Sylvia. Friends for so long. We met when I started working at BEBE on Union Street in San Francisco. It was like I had known her forever. This is also another example of an amazing mom. The amount she has sacrificed for her kids is commendable to say the least. Especially when you see how good natured her awesome kids are. Amazing mom, wife and friend, you are lucky to know this lady. We have laughed and cried together. Seen each other go through so much. And still stayed the best of friends. I remember when we went to this club in SF with a group of people for my birthday. And she and I ran around all night giggling and acting like school kids. Oh, what a night! Well, that’s Sylvia for you. Where ever she is, just like a little sunshine on a cloudy day, Sylvia makes that place better.
Such a strong young woman. She has been through so much, and she has done everything on her own her whole life. She is an inspiration of tenacity and strength. She is also a major inspiration as a mom. Though she has a full-time job, she takes care of her daughter herself. Never, ever complaining about her daughter, her love is endless. I have never seen anyone adore their kid so much. I mean my friends of course love their kids, but Neala never seems to get tired of taking care of her. Never complains, never tries to avoid being with her. She even has picked up a few vegan recipes in order to give her child a better start (which is not easy when your in-laws want your child on an all animal product diet). My hat’s off to you my friend, Livi is a very lucky daughter.
There is hope for the future of America and her name is Mary! This teenager is like no other teenager I have ever met. I remember when the fires came to Sonoma county. I ran next door to tell them what was going on. But you know what, she and her brother had already taken it upon themselves to help evacuate our neighborhood. They were knocking on doors, alerting everyone. Geez! The forethought from teens! Wow! I was blown away. And the more I get to know her, the more I am impressed with her as a human. She has not had the easiest of lives either. Yet her generously and heart are so freakin big, I just want to love and hug her all the time. And as a bonus, she is vegan! Yay! She is my one and only vegan friend in real life. It is so fun spending time with her, I’m afraid I hardly let her get a word in edge wise! I get so excited when we hang. It is like we have known eachother for so long. We eat foods and talk about vegan recipes and stuff. It’s pretty cool and fun!
So those are the women in my real life. We lift each other up, encourage one another. Tell each other it will be ok. Realize we aren’t crazy, sometimes the world is. And as long as you have a good friend beside you, you are never, ever alone. I encourage you to keep your girlfriends close to your heart. The older I get the more I realize what gems they truly are.
“Women understand. We may share experiences, make jokes, paint pictures, and describe humiliations that mean nothing to men, but women understand. The odd thing about these deep and personal connections of women is that they often ignore barriers of age, economics, worldly experience, race, culture — all the barriers that, in male or mixed society, had seemed so difficult to cross.” —Gloria Steinem
Thanks for reading guys! What’s your favorite friend trait? Which friend needs an extra bit of love today…text them now, better yet, call the. I’m sure they’d love to hear your voice. I would! xoxo